Set Free

Fear of Intimacy – Living a Life That is Free

Not one of us needs to suffer agony caused by someone else. A split of a friendship, a romantic relationship or particularly a marriage can be particularly unpleasant and leave a lasting result on our lives. There can be emotional scars and even real physical pain. Occasionally such distressing experiences could lead to what’s labeled physiologically as “fear of intimacy”, which takes the fear of hurt to a higher level.

Fear of Intimacy

The fear of intimacy is the fear of being hurt emotionally by permitting yourself to be exposed in a relationship. Sometimes the fear of intimacy is experienced emotionally as well as physically. The individual with fear of intimacy is often afraid of emotional closeness. This fear can manifest itself in various ways such as fearing rejection, desertion, betrayal or vulnerability. It may also be felt as a fear of becoming engulfed or entrapped by another.

How Does It Develop?

How does fear of intimacy develop? Some believe it could be the results of agony from prior relations. Having a partner who is aggressive or disloyal certainly causes deep heartache and can end up in even deeper physiological scars. The fear of intimacy is a self-protection mechanism to protect against being hurt and crushed emotionally once-again.

Many are convinced fear of intimacy develops in childhood as a protecting behavior. Someone may have had a parent who did not express love, was violent, or deserted the family leaving the child feeling denied and unloved. When something bad happens to us we tend to prepare our lives to guard against facing similar malicious experiences. Of course, this self-protection through shutting others out, only leads to more heartache in the form of isolation. The alternative is to be open to like, intimacy, and vulnerability. Yet, each fiber of your body and mind could be hollering, “No! I was hurt before by being this open. Can I be assured that if I love intimately I won’t be hurt again?”

The Other Partner

Fear of intimacy is often looked at through the eyes of the one that has the emotional hurdle but it can also be catastrophic to the other partner. Imagine living alongside a spouse who fears being intimate and sabotages your each attempt to have an ordinary relationship due to be afraid of. You’re the one who is continually rejected and made to look like the one with the emotional problem. The individual attempting to protect themselves will most likely use anything at their disposal to guard their own weakness even to the point of being deceitful. They’ll regularly place the blame on you, to guard themselves.

Living like this can be lonesome and bewildering. In a number of cases the fear of intimacy may manifest itself emotionally, but not physically. The relationship might have an active sex life but something is drastically missing. The fear of emotional intimacy destroys a good relationship. Yes there is physical enjoyment, however it falls far short of satisfying your emotional wishes. Your other half could be free to have physical intimacy but they might be fiercely guarding their heart at each step.

Emotional Intimacy

Intimacy should create a place of trust, where we are accepted, loved, and respected. A healthy relationship should really provide a place where you can feel the freedom to share your inner thoughts, failings, and shortcomings and know that you are going to still be accepted. In a good relationship, neither side is degraded and nobody will leave the other or lead them to feel deserted. It should be such a lovely place, a peaceful place, a place to grow with one another and to learn the wonderments of this world. It also should be a place where each partner is growing closer to God. Yet, it’s not.

Is There An Answer?

I encourage you to click the present, “God’s Answer?” an immediately downloadable 29 page PDF file that may show the simple way to live life through a power which will radically transform your life. You will find out how to live a life of intimacy you have not imagined.

How many years have you struggled with a fear of intimacy or journeyed with a spouse who fears intimacy? You aren’t here accidentally. It’s time to give your fears to Him and let Him lead you to the life of intimacy you have dreamed. I encourage you to permit your heart to receive “God’s Answer?” You see, it is far more about your heart and your intimacy with Him.

“God’s Answer?”
How to Live Through A Power Which Will Transform Your Life!

Burton Rager author of “Living Life Set Free” and “God’s Answer?” Receive your complimentary copy of “God’s Answer?”

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